Paul's Pert Posterior (and other parts)

My wife has convinced me that this is a good way to make a little extra cash. I think it's just an excuse for her to take pictures of my bum with random objects posing on it because she's weird like that. What the hell, you only live once and Wifey can be very persuasive.
My perky pecker will be co-starring and expect guest appearances from some delightful lady bits.
Requests considered. Fine with anything naughty as long is doesn't get me into trouble or hospital.